I knew my weight was getting out of hand. I didn’t want to face the reality of what I was doing to myself and how much I disliked it. I knew that I needed to do something but my will towards food was stronger. I have always been drawn to food and drinks high in sugar. It’s a weird sensation because if I don’t get what I want I begin to crave it and the need for it becomes greater.
The day I learned that I needed to do something was when I was low on clean clothes and I put on a pair of jeans that 2 years ago was perfectly fitted. Before that I would put them on and realize every time that they got tighter and tighter. Finally I realized that I put them to the side for so long that when I had no choice but to wear them they no longer fitted me. They were a sad reminder of what I was.
I later noticed that my bras began to fit me tight because I was gaining weight and it spread mainly to my stomach and back. I looked in the mirror then and hated what I saw back, now I see it as an opportunity to mold myself and test my strength. Temptations have gotten the better of me. For five days I ate carbs only in the morning, and ate what I thought were great lunches and dinners. On the sixth day I caved in at a birthday party and had a slice of cookies and cream ice cream cake. Of course I did well throughout the weekday and I knew that this was my first item with extreme amounts of sugar but it doesn’t dismiss the fact that there has to be some kind of control when it comes to eating healthy and staying the course.
I’m addicted to sugar and I’m trying to break that the best way I can. By simply not having as much or having none at all. Going cold turkey I suppose. I can’t wait until I find a better way. Until then this is what works for me.